Kim Kardashian’s Nude Photos Aren’t Just About Her Butt
The last 24 hours have been rough on everyone. We’ve all been living in constant fear after some lady threatened to destroy the Internet with a picture of her butt.
And while the early signs indicate that literally nothing has happened
to the Internet since the butt picture came out, we’ve been a little
stressed because, as the saying goes, where there’s butt, there’s other
stuff.
Last night, that other stuff finally came out
(link NSFW) and it shows that this “Kim Kardashian” means business when
it comes to threatening the web. We’ve covered the most dangerous parts
of the photos with black boxes because this is all too horrifying.
New pictures put out by Paper Magazine
(whose name suggests it would seemingly have no interest or involvement
with the Internet) show the front half of the backside that was
published on Wednesday. It’s terrifying stuff and we’re legitimately
concerned it could hurt our beloved online community.
We’re determined to get to the bottom of
this. Who the heck is this Kim Kardashian and what did the Internet ever
do to her? More important, has she ever done anything else before this?
We honestly have no idea who she is or why she matters, and it doesn’t
make sense that someone who has never contributed anything to the world
would threaten to take down its digital infrastructure for no reason.
Maybe someone out there can help us—someone on the Internet.
If you, dear readers, know who this woman is, anything important she’s
ever done, or why we should care about her, please let us know in the
comments because we can’t come up with a damn thing.
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